Excerpt from Rhinestones on My Flip-Flops
“I’m hearing lots of whine; where’s the cheese?” I will never forget the one-liner quoted above. My family was on vacation in Litchfield Beach, South Carolina, and heard the above statement from some “Nath’ners.” Normally when you think about wine and cheese it represents some sort of celebration, but during times of change, we need to watch out for the whine.
I am going to admit my worst whiny moment of change. I was in the thick of a horrible family problem. I was shocked, bewildered and just plain pathetic. The event coincided with my caring for my mother-in-law, who was suffering from dementia. Every morning I was responsible for preparing breakfast for Mama Jewel and making sure she was taking her medicines before her sitter arrived.
Sitting at the round oak table, Mama Jewel’s face glowed with kindness and consideration. As sweet as ever, she began our conversation. “Honey, how are you doing?”
“Oh, Mama Jewel. Did I tell you about my family problem?” I inquired.
“Why, no, Da’lin! Is something wrong?” asked Mama Jewel with great concern.
“Oh, yes.” Then I hopped on my pitiful wheel of misfortune. After a fifteen minute ride of sorrow, worry, and fears, I watched Mama Jewel’s eyes glisten with heart-felt compassion.
The conversation lulled, then, started up again. “Honey, how are you doing?”
“Oh, Mama Jewel. Did I tell you about my family problem?” I asked.
“Why, no, Da’lin! Is something wrong?”
“Oh, yes.” I repeated. It was my second ride on that endless wheel because Mama Jewel was having trouble with her short-term memory. Part of me enjoyed talking about it … again. And again.
I was using my precious mother-in-law’s memory issues to hear myself talk about my problem over and over again. Then it hit me: Mama Jewel is not nearly as sick as I am!
My whining reminded me that I had totally lost my sparkle. I had allowed events to make me a dull human being. That episode led me to seek the help of a professional counselor who had The Counselor living in his heart. I learned healthy skills for dealing with impossible people and circumstances beyond our control when change visits our homes.
Will you challenge yourself to do the same? If not, find a memory ward at the nearest nursing home and go find someone to listen to your story like I did, over and over again. The residents will love your company, and you will get to hear yourself whine over and over.
Charles R. Swindoll writes in his book The Grace Awakening, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”
So, the h was eventually dropped in my old whine and new wine was put into my new “wineskin” (Luke 5:37-39 NKJV). Now that is something to celebrate!
