Fear of the unknown can be quite the compelling catalyst. It is easy to put a feeling on the top shelf, pushed as far back as it can go, in that out-of-the-way closet that is never opened. When it does arise, you quickly avert recognition of said feeling and wait for it to pass from your field of view.
This is what the thought of holding a firearm was like for me.
I was never really exposed to firearms growing up. My father hunted dove with his shotgun when I was younger. Until I moved out to go to college, the shotgun stayed zipped up in a bag, standing upright in the corner on his side of my parents’ bedroom. It was never removed and never talked about. When my father passed away, I assumed ownership of the firearm and hid it in the garage where I could not see it. If I happened to notice a hunting rifle or shotgun at a friend’s house or in a store, I would avert my eyes. That was the extent of my exposure to firearms.
This changed when I met Randy Doucet at the Aiken Brewing Company. Having just retired from the Savannah River Site, he was starting a firearm safety training company and wanted me to look at it from a marketing standpoint. While discussing the types of programs he was thinking of, he told me that he gave his son a firearm when he went off to college. Before he would let his son take it, the roommates he would be moving in with would have to know how to handle the firearm properly and be able to unload and clear it confidently. This intrigued me. Within the span of an hour I could learn how to handle a firearm safely.
I recalled when my youngest daughter went to one of her yearly doctor’s appointments when she was 8 or 9 years old. The doctor asked her what she would do if she saw a gun lying in the yard. She responded, “Throw a rock at it.” I admit I was embarrassed by her solution. The doctor answered that throwing a rock at it could be dangerous, that she should not touch the gun but go find her mom or dad instead. I did not even know how to address this with my daughter — the thought of picking up a firearm created such anxiety, it went straight to the back corner of that closet and remained tucked away.
Now, having learned how Randy took the care of training not only his children about firearms but also the people around them, I felt like that would be something I would absolutely want for my children. If they were to learn, I would need to face my fears first and learn as well. So I became Randy’s first student in the beginner classes of his firearm safety training company, Black Bayou, LLC. I asked Randy about the name Black Bayou, and he responded, “Black Bayou is not a place, it is a state of mind.”
When I embarked on my first class, I was a nervous wreck. Randy came to the Bella Studio and laid out six firearms in front of me: a .357 Magnum, a .38 Special, a Ruger SR22, a Beretta Px4 Storm Compact, and a Glock 19 and 22. My heart was pounding. My hands were shaking. I was trying very hard not to cry.
We went over the Four Basic Safety Rules:
- Always treat the firearm as if it is loaded.
- Always point the barrel in a safe direction.
- Always know your target, how it is going to interact with the bullet, what is in front of it, and what is behind it.
- Always keep your finger out of the trigger guard until you are on target and ready to fire.
Randy proceeded to show me each firearm. He then loaded them with snap caps and fired to show me what the action would look like.
Then he instructed me to pick one up and follow the motions he took.
Big gulp.
I thought, hell, just be brave and pick up the gun. I was slow to lose the jitters, but it got easier and easier with each firearm. I clung to my notebook, taking as many notes as I could to give me a break and distraction from the fear. After working through each firearm and learning how to “unload and show clear,” Randy asked me to turn around. He rearranged the firearms as well as the magazines and ammunition. When I turned back around, he asked me to make each firearm safe and clear. Excitement started to pulse through me. A challenge! I love a good challenge and I love being a good student! I fulfilled the challenge with a perfect score.
When the class came to an end my fear was completely disarmed. I now knew exactly what to do with a firearm should I see one and need to handle it. I felt safe. I knew I could learn this well enough — eventually — to help my girls feel confident and safe around a firearm. It was a success.
After Randy left the studio, I cried for a good 30 minutes. It amazes me what we carry around with us — the weight of anxiety and fear — how heavy it is and how much of a toll it takes on us. And how, in a safe and caring environment, it is completely within our power to ease the load and even set it down completely. I am a different person with another notch of accomplishment in my belt of self-confidence.
And this was just my first lesson. Stay tuned next month for my journey out to the range, where I fired my first live round.
