Peeling off the layers and becoming who you truly are is hard work — it never comes easy. I know a lot of people that put on different faces depending on who is around them. Of course there is a business face when you are in a professional environment, a playful face when you are at home or out in nature, but that is not what I am referring to.
I am talking about becoming your true authentic self. The you that has been pushed down due to life’s trauma, people’s negative opinion of you, hurts and pain — the things you think you can hide and never face, and no one will ever know. The problem with that is that YOU know! When you look in the mirror, or when you are lonely, you feel the despair and/or anger that hides inside. There is a part of you that you beat up, talk harshly to, and have never forgiven for past events. As you continue to destroy yourself, you may project the pain onto other people, or you may push it down so far that you hope no one will ever see it.
The problem is that it will come out one day in some form. You need to do your work — it is hard but it is worth it! Self-help books can be used as a guide or a tool, but unless you are open to peeling off the layers and releasing the negative, you will resort back to the old way of life. I used to read books that would tell me how I should feel, but I didn’t feel really that way. I would tell myself over and over to feel a certain but, but eventually the way I really felt would return, this time with an added feeling of inadequacy because I couldn’t or didn’t change. I often wonder whether some of these self-help authors have really done the work themselves to live a peaceful life during the storms. Or are they just writing their theories on how you should feel? It’s a fair question.
I have listened to many awesomely wonderful positive motivational speakers — Zig Ziglar, Leo Buscaglia, Wayne Dryer, and so many others that I loved. My dad used to take us or send us to their events in the 70s and 80s. I learned many good tools, and I would apply them for a short period of time but soon no longer use them. At church they used to say, “Leave your problems at the cross” and I would! One time they put up a wooden cross in church and we all walked up to it and pretended to leave something at the foot or stick a sticky note with writing on it to the cross. The motion was great, and it even felt good, but as soon as I got back into the car, or at the first sign of life’s trouble, I would be back to my freak-out zone. I expressed it in the form of worry, anger, control, or whatever was needed for the situation. I didn’t know how to peel off the layers or apply the tools needed to go from my over-thinking head to a peaceful heart where God or a Higher Power dwells within me.
This has been my life work. I have learned the hard way that becoming my true authentic self requires committing and applying tools every day until they become natural. No one can save you, but they can guide you — you still have to do the work of applying the tools you learn from training, motivational talks, and books. It is yours to work through — your journey is different from mine and mine from theirs.
Be careful who you confide in. Not everyone appreciates your self-work. The very reason we are afraid to show our authentic selves is that these same people can and will use what they know about you against you. Share and hash out your thoughts and feeling only with the trusted friends who know your heart and want the best for you. But I assure you — if they have not or are not working on their own selves, they are not sound mentors or counselors for your growth.
In the end it all is up to you and the tools you use: prayer, meditation, positive affirmation, essential oils, healing stones, changing your vibration and frequency, journaling, walks in nature, etc. Choose the tools you want to use daily to overcome and peel off a layer. Then rest. Peel off layers until you are raw and open but your heart is healed. Until you no longer fear other people’s opinions of you. Until the hurt that has been buried so far down no longer controls you or hurts you. Until the memory is still there but the hurt or pain is gone. Use your healing tools daily to prepare you to face current storms head on, with courage and confidence. You are now living from your heart, no longer living in your over-thinking head. In this labyrinth of life, we can walk in peace and love!
Are you brave enough to do your work?
