A 2020 Serving of Sweet Tea Wisdom and Southern Fried Humor

As we enter into a new year, I thought I would share two of my favorite stories. Start your 2020 with some humor coupled with a bit of wisdom — enjoy!

One of my Sunday school buds told our class a story I will never forget. As a seventeen-year-old, Nicky entered boot camp. He said that he was petrified and had a sinking feeling of failure. One day, Nicky he dropped to his knees and prayed, “Oh, Lord, I need help. I am a failure! Please send me a sign to help me survive basic training.” With bowed head, Nicky’s eyes opened. It was a miracle. He saw his divine answer. Imprinted on his dog tags was “B-Positive.” His entire attitude changed from that moment. Nicky knew that God had answered his prayer.

A few days later, a buddy commented on Nicky’s change. “What happened to you? I thought you were going home?” inquired his friend.

Nicky said, “I had a miracle; I got a message from God. Look at my dog tags, B-Positive.”

“Really,” commented Nicky’s friend. His buddy pulled the long chain out of his shirt and showed Nicky his dog tag. “Look at my message from God — O-Negative.”

Nicky had no idea that it was his blood type written on his dog tag! But he changed his attitude when he changed his thinking. The great Zig Ziglar said it best — whether you think you can or you can’t, you will be right either way.

Get Rid of Excess Mental Baggage

I stood around the baggage carousel in Portland, Oregon, alongside many other travelers, hoping to spot my temporary closet on wheels. My thoughts were saturated with stressful family concerns. The harder I tried to concoct a solution, the more my head throbbed. Finally, I saw my wheeled suitcase with fluorescent luggage tags making its way down the belt. I grabbed my suitcase and headed to the rental car terminal.

A glance to check on my wheeling closet caused me to slam on the brakes — my practically new roller-board had a large gaping hole on one side, a crushed zipper, and missing front pockets. To make matters worse, one leg of my pantyhose was tucked inside my suitcase and the other leg was dragging behind it — a perfect split.

Prudent female travelers utilize the multi-tasking convenience technique of “leaving your undies in the pantyhose.” Yes, my drawers were sunny-side up tucked into the hose. I quickly reeled in the unsightly undergarments as I silently thanked my mother for teaching me the clean underwear rule — both on and off the body. You just never know …

Making a U-turn, I headed toward the luggage lady standing just a few feet away. She took one look at my terminally damaged suitcase and said, “Are you sure we did that?”

It was one of those moments when my mouth got ahead of my brain. “Well, I can assure you this didn’t happen during the twelve-foot trip from the belt to here.”

The luggage lady inspected the large hole in the side of the bag complemented by an exposed wire while she attempted to open the main compartment with a crushed zipper. She lifted what was remaining of the outside pockets and asked, “Do you think it can be repaired?”

Those words hit me like a ton of luggage — some things are not fixable and cannot be repaired. Many times when life hands us difficult circumstances, the best thing to do is to replace what is damaged. Pour your energy into something more hopeful.

According to Dr. Henry Cloud, it’s healthy to lose hope in hopeless situations. Search for a new hope in another direction. We need to learn the difference between wishing and hoping. Wishing is based on false hope when it is an unrealistic wanting. When we are faced with such realities, it’s wise to consider a necessary ending.

Just like that damaged suitcase, I tried to repair something that had no hope. Talk about dragging around excess baggage! No thanks.

Remember these self-improvement stories so that your 2020 will contain less baggage and more ways to B-Positive.

Picture of Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Southern humorist, Sirius XM comedian, member of the Speaker Hall of Fame, and the best-selling author of four books. Jane travels the country sharing her sweet tea wisdom and Southern fried humor. For information on how to contact Jane for speaking engagements or to purchase her books, CD’s or MP3’s, visit www.janeherlong.com
Picture of Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Southern humorist, Sirius XM comedian, member of the Speaker Hall of Fame, and the best-selling author of four books. Jane travels the country sharing her sweet tea wisdom and Southern fried humor. For information on how to contact Jane for speaking engagements or to purchase her books, CD’s or MP3’s, visit www.janeherlong.com

In the know

Related Stories

For the Love of Your Dog | Palmetto Bella

For the Love of Your Dog

It surprised me when I realized I haven’t put a lot of thought into how my dog’s collar and leash fit him. It makes me wonder what else I take for granted… I have a 12-year-old Maltese named Pip (PIP – Pretty Important Puppy). He was supposed to be my daughter’s dog, but ended up mine, and I totally love the little guy. He is usually pretty content to stay right beside me when we walk. He never pulled on the leash, but as he has gotten older, the collar and leash seem a little more challenging. I was introduced to UDogU last month, and I have fallen in love

Read More »
Romance in the Rural South | Palmetto Bella

Romance in the Rural South

Humor is everywhere — you just have to keep your eyes and ears open. As I have always said, you can’t make this stuff up. I was speaking in a small town outside of Winchester, Virginia, around Valentine’s Day, and I mentioned to the audience that it warms a wife’s heart to be given fancy lingerie. After the program, a sweet young woman approached me and said how glad she was I had made that suggestion. “My husband only buys me the Hanes Her Way drawers that come up real high. They are nice drawers, but I sure would like some of them fancy high-cut drawers. The only thing I

Read More »
Scraps of Love | Palmetto Bella

Scraps of Love

It is a rather small scrap of simple cotton cloth. It is faded cream in color with a pattern of soft blue leaves printed across it. And it is fastened onto a large page of paper, along with half-a-dozen other small lengths of different bits of cloth and folds of ribbon. The page is one of many pages, bound into a very large, very old, book. And there are rows and rows of books just like it. And they are shelved and preserved within the Foundling Museum in London, England. England in the 1700s was constantly wet, slicked and grimed, bone-deep cold, with steel-colored skies and frozen rivers, struggling through

Read More »
A Dialogue with Singer Songwriter: Chris Ndeti | Palmetto Bella

A Dialogue with Singer Songwriter: Chris Ndeti

Recently, Bella Magazine caught up with Chris Ndeti for a round of 5 questions. Who were some of your musical heroes and influences growing up? Do you find elements of them in your work today? My mom grew up in Brooklyn during the 50s. She sang with her local girl group at The Apollo Theater before it was televised. So I grew up listening to the doo-wop, rock, and pop of that era. My dad is from Kenya, so I would listen to popular tunes from Kenyan artists. In my tween years I began branching out on my own music ventures. I started listening to an Atlanta radio station 99X.

Read More »