A 2020 Serving of Sweet Tea Wisdom and Southern Fried Humor

As we enter into a new year, I thought I would share two of my favorite stories. Start your 2020 with some humor coupled with a bit of wisdom — enjoy!

One of my Sunday school buds told our class a story I will never forget. As a seventeen-year-old, Nicky entered boot camp. He said that he was petrified and had a sinking feeling of failure. One day, Nicky he dropped to his knees and prayed, “Oh, Lord, I need help. I am a failure! Please send me a sign to help me survive basic training.” With bowed head, Nicky’s eyes opened. It was a miracle. He saw his divine answer. Imprinted on his dog tags was “B-Positive.” His entire attitude changed from that moment. Nicky knew that God had answered his prayer.

A few days later, a buddy commented on Nicky’s change. “What happened to you? I thought you were going home?” inquired his friend.

Nicky said, “I had a miracle; I got a message from God. Look at my dog tags, B-Positive.”

“Really,” commented Nicky’s friend. His buddy pulled the long chain out of his shirt and showed Nicky his dog tag. “Look at my message from God — O-Negative.”

Nicky had no idea that it was his blood type written on his dog tag! But he changed his attitude when he changed his thinking. The great Zig Ziglar said it best — whether you think you can or you can’t, you will be right either way.

Get Rid of Excess Mental Baggage

I stood around the baggage carousel in Portland, Oregon, alongside many other travelers, hoping to spot my temporary closet on wheels. My thoughts were saturated with stressful family concerns. The harder I tried to concoct a solution, the more my head throbbed. Finally, I saw my wheeled suitcase with fluorescent luggage tags making its way down the belt. I grabbed my suitcase and headed to the rental car terminal.

A glance to check on my wheeling closet caused me to slam on the brakes — my practically new roller-board had a large gaping hole on one side, a crushed zipper, and missing front pockets. To make matters worse, one leg of my pantyhose was tucked inside my suitcase and the other leg was dragging behind it — a perfect split.

Prudent female travelers utilize the multi-tasking convenience technique of “leaving your undies in the pantyhose.” Yes, my drawers were sunny-side up tucked into the hose. I quickly reeled in the unsightly undergarments as I silently thanked my mother for teaching me the clean underwear rule — both on and off the body. You just never know …

Making a U-turn, I headed toward the luggage lady standing just a few feet away. She took one look at my terminally damaged suitcase and said, “Are you sure we did that?”

It was one of those moments when my mouth got ahead of my brain. “Well, I can assure you this didn’t happen during the twelve-foot trip from the belt to here.”

The luggage lady inspected the large hole in the side of the bag complemented by an exposed wire while she attempted to open the main compartment with a crushed zipper. She lifted what was remaining of the outside pockets and asked, “Do you think it can be repaired?”

Those words hit me like a ton of luggage — some things are not fixable and cannot be repaired. Many times when life hands us difficult circumstances, the best thing to do is to replace what is damaged. Pour your energy into something more hopeful.

According to Dr. Henry Cloud, it’s healthy to lose hope in hopeless situations. Search for a new hope in another direction. We need to learn the difference between wishing and hoping. Wishing is based on false hope when it is an unrealistic wanting. When we are faced with such realities, it’s wise to consider a necessary ending.

Just like that damaged suitcase, I tried to repair something that had no hope. Talk about dragging around excess baggage! No thanks.

Remember these self-improvement stories so that your 2020 will contain less baggage and more ways to B-Positive.

Picture of Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Southern humorist, Sirius XM comedian, member of the Speaker Hall of Fame, and the best-selling author of four books. Jane travels the country sharing her sweet tea wisdom and Southern fried humor. For information on how to contact Jane for speaking engagements or to purchase her books, CD’s or MP3’s, visit www.janeherlong.com
Picture of Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Southern humorist, Sirius XM comedian, member of the Speaker Hall of Fame, and the best-selling author of four books. Jane travels the country sharing her sweet tea wisdom and Southern fried humor. For information on how to contact Jane for speaking engagements or to purchase her books, CD’s or MP3’s, visit www.janeherlong.com

In the know

Related Stories

The Case for Chocolate | Palmetto Bella

The Case for Chocolate

How is it mothers always know what’s going on behind their backs, especially when it’s something naughty? I loved sugar as a small child. When no one was looking, I’d get into the sugar bowl. There usually wasn’t much activity or supervision in the dining room, and the sugar bowl tempted me. I would use the spoon in the bowl to scoop up the sugar and put it in my mouth, and then wait in bliss while it slowly dissolved on my tongue. Evidently this was very naughty, and my mother always knew. It took me a long time to find out how. The spoon was sterling silver, a souvenir

Read More »
Taking Action | Palmetto Bella

Taking Action

“Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long,you miss them.” ~ William Arthur Ward This year has me wondering — is there more? More to life perhaps? More I can do? More I want to do? Many of us have had more downtime in the past year that we’ve ever had before. Lots of thinking time, lots of planning time. We all know that time is not finite, but when life comes to a jarring halt as it did in 2020, maybe it’s time to reassess what we want the rest of our lives to be. Most will probably want more travel, more family, more normal. This time of

Read More »
Dogs Riding in Cars | Palmetto Bella

Dogs Riding in Cars

I suspect it may be the reason most dogs keep us around. We can drive cars … and trucks and motorhomes and motorcycles. And, as a result, we can seemingly create the very wind itself. To the senses of dogs riding in cars, I suspect it seems we can also somehow make all the best smells float on the air at once, with a cacophony of new and familiar sounds intertwined and changing every few seconds. We magically bring farms with fields of horses into view before they dash past us with glorious speed. We find new people to watch walking and riding bikes, and other dogs to call out

Read More »
Why I Love Daffodils | Palmetto Bella

Why I Love Daffodils

There is something magical about daffodils. The mere shape of the flower seems to trumpet the arrival of spring, announcing something new and exciting. Imagine March in the Lowcountry with a sea of yellow daffodils covering a yard that stretches all the way down to the banks of Abbapoola Creek. My grandmother Lou would sit on the green porch swing and watch her grandchildren de-daffodil her yard. I can still hear the rhythmic creaking of the chains from the old swing — it almost sounded like a familiar song. She loved watching us pick every flower but there was always another prized daffodil hidden in her yard. The goal was

Read More »