As Miss South Carolina, I had a blast riding in Christmas Parades! I became a skilled candy thrower and I had perfected my beauty queen wave. But I learned more than just how to wave in parades. I believe these “rhinestoned lessons” taught me how to laugh at myself and develop a healthy attitude while riding in a kazillion Christmas parades. Here are a few really funny, timeless lessons I learned.
Don’t take yourself too seriously.
I was asked to be the Grand Marshall in a small-town parade. Well, I thought I was the most important part of the parade until the Mayor told me that I was being replaced by the pride and joy of the town — a brand new, purple, sanitation truck. But the good news was that I was allowed to ride in the front cab. It was a stitch! So, there I sat, crown and all, as I rode through the elated town folks. They cheered and clapped … over their new, purple, dump truck. So much for me and my fabulous wave.
Animals will steal the show (and ruin your shoes).
If the purple sanitation truck was not enough of a humble reminder, in the next parade I was given the honor of walking in high heels behind a herd of beefalo. These mammoth creatures are a cross between a buffalo and a cow. And, of course they were well fed. Yessiree, I was laser focused on where I stepped. I was certainly steppin’ pretty high most of the time.
You don’t have to be perfect.
As the reigning Miss South Carolina, I had to be dressed “to the nines” all the time. But after parade number ten, it was time for this heifer to take off the make-up and change out of my beauty queen clothes.
Speeding down I26, I heard the sound we all dread — a highway patrolman’s siren. UGHHH! I was getting pulled for speeding … again. My first thought was how much trouble I would be in with the Miss South Carolina Pageant folks.
The cop approached my car with a familiar request, “Driver’s license, registration please ma’am.” I handed him my info and braced for my much-deserved speeding ticket. To my surprise, he handed me a warning. I was so thrilled that I presented to him my official Miss South Carolina picture, complete with crown, gown and all the trimmings. He looked at me, studied my picture and then he looked at me again. “Doggone,” he said. “Do you know her?”
I learned to let beauty go.
In the small town of Greer, South Carolina, I was the Grand Marshall. It was a proud moment until a cold front suddenly moved in and literally rained on our parade. It was freezing rain, I might add. I was riding with lots of children and we were all chilled to the bone. All of a sudden, I decided that being a human shield against the elements was more important than being a beauty queen. I gathered all of my riders and covered them with my black velvet cape. We all froze but were huddled together; actually, it was lots of fun. Later, I looked in the mirror and laughed myself silly. I resembled the old rock ‘n’ roll legend Alice Cooper. My makeup was literally running down my face. I looked more like the Halloween Queen.
What great lessons I learned that year: laugh at yourself, be kind to others, don’t be afraid to be yourself, and enjoy the ride!
