When I was growing up outside of the South, Southern girls fascinated me. The way that they sauntered around, the sweet tones that came
from their mouths, and the effortless way that they made even the most cutting phrases sound charming — all this was mystifying to me.
Now that I live in the South, I see that there is much more underneath “Bella.” Bella isn’t about being from a certain area or having an accent —
it is the way that a woman carries herself with grace and confidence and uses her femininity in such a way that she commands respect.
Bella is a woman who stands up for herself, and not in a “bra burning” type of a way. She doesn’t have to exert her power over others or shriek about how she is totally equal to any man. She understands that equality is not about being the same; it means that we all possess those things about us that make us valuable in the same way. Here are 14 reasons that we should all strive to #BeBella.
#1 She chooses who and what she wants to be.
Somewhere along the line, women went from wanting to have the choice to be who and what they wanted to not being able to choose traditional roles like stay-at-home-moms. Bella doesn’t care if you judge her as unmotivated, or lacking in some way, for making her life decisions. It is on you if you don’t understand how important being a mother is and that it is okay to devote your life to making a happy home.
#2 Bella is unapologetic.
When you do something wrong, the right thing to do is to make amends to the person you affronted by apologizing. But when you apologize for the things about yourself that you don’t think are accepted by others, that just drags you down. Being unapologetic means that you are okay in your own skin, and since no one else has to be there, no one else gets a say. There is no reason to apologize to others for not living up to their expectations as long as you live up to your own and accept all things about yourself.
#3 She can’t be defined by a size.
Hopefully things are changing in the world of fashion and air brushing. Bella can’t be bothered by weighing herself on a daily basis or constantly cutting calories or having a salad. She understands that it is more important to focus on who she is on the inside than to worry about how she appears on the outside. And she understands that size doesn’t translate into health, and dieting is not a synonym for taking care of her body.
#4 Bella has a style all her own.
Although she doesn’t focus solely on her appearance, Bella has her own style and isn’t guided by what others are wearing. She is completely comfortable in her own skin and knows what type of presence she wants to show to the world. It isn’t about being trendy — it is about being herself no matter what other people are wearing.
#5 She is strong but not overpowering.
You can’t shout your way into being right, but some women try to exert their power by being overpowering. Bella makes her opinions known and gets her point across by commanding your attention through soft-spoken grace. She doesn’t have to shout you down or shut you out. Bella is open to hearing what you have to say, taking it in, and sometimes even changing her own mind — because her mind is always open to better ideas.
#6 Bella can hold her own.
Although feminine, Bella is not afraid to jump in and do the heavy lifting. She isn’t about sitting on the fainting couch waiting for a partner to do the hard work for her. If there is something she can accomplish on her own, she will. She would like a partner who will help in her life, but she doesn’t need one.
#7 You can’t mistake her ability to be vulnerable with being weak.
One thing that is often misunderstood is that Bella’s ability to be vulnerable and empathetic is not a sign of weakness. Bella is someone who is willing to open her heart to you and give you all of the unconditional love and acceptance in the world, not because she is weak, but because she is mentally strong enough to take the hurt that sometimes comes with leaving yourself open. After all, if you don’t ever leave yourself open to love, you won’t ever have it.
#8 She doesn’t let self-doubt stop her.
Most of us are our own worst enemies and often our worst critics. Bella is someone who has thoughts and times of self-doubt, but she doesn’t listen to the inner voices that lead to fear. And that fear stops us from moving ahead and reaching our goals. Bella is a woman who won’t be stopped by doubting herself or by letting anyone else underestimate or doubt her either.
#9 Bella doesn’t overthink things.
It is not uncommon for women to overthink situations and to ruminate about things that happen in their lives. When we focus on the past, which is something we can’t change, then we aren’t planning for or living in the future. It is good to weigh the pros and cons, but in the end, Bella makes a decision and doesn’t overthink or second guess whatever the outcome is.
#10 She doesn’t fear breaking the rules.
Bella believes in following rules that have purpose, like not speeding or jaywalking, but she won’t be guided by social mores that keep her down or tell her what she can or can’t do. Bella isn’t guided by gen-der stereotypes — she chooses which ones she wants to accept and which ones she wants to debunk. No standard or rule is going to keep her down.
#11 Bella aims to please but she isn’t a “pleaser.”
As women, it can sometimes be easy to fall into the pleaser role. A pleaser is someone who constantly puts the needs and wants of others in front of her own, thereby sacrificing what she wants. Bella wants to make people in her world happy, and to be accepted, but her own mental and physical well-being come first. That doesn’t mean she negates the needs of those around her. It simply means that she won’t be taken advantage of or unappreciated.
#12 She won’t stay silent.
There is a difference between the one who chooses not to engage in ugly gossip and talk and the woman who stands up and says, “That’s enough, this is wrong!” Bella isn’t cunning or backstabbing. She doesn’t engage in the “bless her heart” mentality that it is okay for you to bash or talk about some-one’s personal life because “you care.” She is not only the one who walks away from the ugly — she is the one who stops it cold in its tracks by taking a stand that the conversation has to stop.
#13 Bella isn’t afraid to toot her own horn.
Women are often taught to squash their competitive side and be more “humble.” Being humble, however, does not mean that you downplay your part or your successes. It isn’t bragging to tell someone what you have accomplished. Successes are facts that people should know about you, and Bella understands the importance of allowing people to see her powerful side.
#14 She believes in self-improvement but also likes the current version of herself.
As human beings, we want to be the best that we can be. That is why self-help books are so popular. In the end, however, it is okay to want to be a better version of you. To be a better version, you first have to be happy with the current version while seeking only to tweak it a bit. #BeUnapologeticallyBella
Bella might be a Southern-oriented magazine, but it symbolizes the strength, beauty, and power that all women possess. We don’t need to shout or to be the better sex. We just need to stand up and be unapologetically ourselves. Being feminine is not about being weak — it is about being strong enough to be vulnerable, take chances, and celebrate the things that make us who we are. We should all aspire to #BeBella because she is the woman who can do it all, whatever it is that she decides to do. And she reaches her goals without hesitation, regret, or fear.
So, how can you start on the road to being Bella today?
